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I love my wife. I’m not sure how else it can be said to emphasis how much I love her. Maybe in another language? Her affection, attention and boundless compassion and understanding is infinite. I’ve never met someone quiet like Thais and I’m sometimes amazed that she chose me. I constantly read in news paper articles, editorials, programs and every other media outlet that the wives of sports-players have it made. Their lives are perfect: fame, fortune, parties, glamour, the scene. They and I have no idea how difficult it must be to carry on daily the life of a “family” with the other half missing as often as I am missing. I don’t sing my wife praises in a way to justify myself and what I do, she knew what she was getting into when she married me and she knew that I would often be away – I sing her praises because how well she manages to handle everything and never reproach me about not being there all the time.
I feel guilty at times because I feel like I have been demanding. Even if she says otherwise, I feel like I put too much pressure on her. It took us almost a year to get pregnant with Marley and I recently suggested the idea of having another child. She agreed that would be ideal for the kids to be close in age but she wants to wait a bit. I felt pushy, though; I only suggested it once and agreed that we could wait. Who am I to suggest another child if sometimes I’m gone for a week as I am now? I haven’t been home since Tuesday afternoon and I won't be back until Sunday. I call more than once a day and before I go to sleep, I talk to her, I talk to Marley but I’m not there. I wasn’t there for 3 a.m. feedings, I wasn’t there for the midnight fevers. Does any of this make me want to quit what I do? Sometimes. It sounds easy to give up the sore muscles, strained wrists, tweeked ankles for teaching Marley to walk and talk; but, it wouldn’t be me. I’ve never quit anything I’ve ever tried. Out of high school I was recruited by Duke, I was told I wouldn’t graduate that I was there on an athletic scholarship and that was all I would ever be good at – sports. I graduated with a degree in art history from Duke. Riley was called a fool for drafting me with a first round, number five, pick; I wasn’t good enough. It was a fluke that we got to the Final Four with the team we had. It was a good streak and not that I was as good as I showed in March Madness. Four years later I had a ring. Bad knees, busted shoulder – I was done. I was through; I might as well have retired only five years into my career. Except I didn’t. I returned the following year, after rehab and plenty of training, tougher than ever and won the scoring crown. I’ve never quit anything and I can’t quit now because I miss home. I don’t think Thais would let me. So, I need to find a way to balance things out and without slacking in either.
And, so here is one of the reasons why I say she is incredible. Without having told her anything, without even knowing how or what I was feeling my wife seems to always know what is going on. She always seems to be a step ahead of me. Last night while I was going through my duffle bag for this mornings travel clothes I found some CDs and a note. She just wanted to send a taste of home on the road with me. A Bob Marley CD and Michael Buble which I had never really heard before until today. She usually has the Michael Buble CD in her car but she plays it sometimes at dinner and usually dance. Nonetheless, it was one of the CDs she packed with her note.
I can't wait for it to be Sunday. I can't wait to be back home.
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